Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Better than Chinese Water Torture

A few weeks ago I did the unthinkable. I broke our portable DVD player. GASP! OH, the horror! I know, I know. At first, well at first I panicked because we were in the middle of a road trip longer than 3 hours long and I wasn't sure if we could finish the trip. Might as well turn around now I thought. As it turns out, the kids did amazingly well. They, if you can believe this, look out the windows. Yes, they did. So, Aaron and I were feeling quite cocky about this discovery and decided to take another long road trip. A seven hour road trip. (and I don't want to hear from you people who take longer trips that this. This is my story, not yours! :) )

Anyway, we left this last weekend for another camping trip in the Eastern Sierra Nevadas. It was another great camping adventure. And for you followers, the canoeing was the best. We were there for 4 days and 3 nights. We saw lots more wildlife, including a deer that walked right thru the campsite next to ours. Plus as an extra bonus, we had a bear visit us, or our trashcan I should say, during the night. I guess he smelled that yummy chicken noodle soup we ate and wanted to taste test it himself. Good times!

Now you ask, "What can be better than Chinese water torture?" How about driving home with our little Motormouth and Mockingbird! For almost seven hours, there was a constant stream of questions coming from the backseat. It went something like this:

Mama, what's a radio tower?how does it work?are Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift friends?why does Miley Cyrus wear a wig?I'm hungry, can i have something to eat?daddy, why are there cars?why do we drive on roads?how long is 2 hours?is it like a week?can we eat now?where are the Indians?why don't they live in tee pees?mama, do Indian girls play with Barbies?are Indians poor?what's a casino?mama, can I have an orange now?where's the Miller family?are they behind us?are they in front of us?are we in front or behind?where's the elk?what's an elk?daddy, mama, why do I have toes?why was Eden born first?why was Ryder born last?mama, can you have another baby?what did I eat when I was a baby?

And yes, my space bar does work. I am only illustrating the fact that my kids don't require air therefore, no pauses between questions. The only way I can describe this experience is like sitting for a 7 hour exam filled with life's most mind-numbing questions. Honestly, those kids can fire off questions faster than a Gatling gun. By hour 4 of our trip, Aaron's and my brain had turned to jello. Our brain cells were dying off faster than they were being replaced. I found myself praying, "Dear Lord, make me small enough to fit inside the glove compartment!" Of course, Ryder didn't fall asleep until 2 hours before we got home and Chloe hung on until the last hour. I believe her last question was something like, "are there judges in Yucca Valley?" I am sure that if the question session went on any longer I would have been willing to divulge every secret I've ever kept in order to have a moment of silence. So if Homeland Security is recruiting for interrogators, Chloe and Ryder are available. Chloe will ask the questions and Ryder will repeat them until sufficiently answered. Homeland Security may submit a list of questions but these questions may or may not, probably never be used. However, all the people on the FBI's Most Wanted list will be located within 24 hours.

*pictures to follow*


Plaseeba said...

LMAO Lyndsey that was HILLARIOUS! So glad you guys had a great time up there again, can't wait to see the pictures :)

Robin said...

I'm serious when I tell you that you should write a book! It'll be a best seller for sure. So let this moment stand as proof that I should totally get a cut of the profits :)Love and miss you guys!!!

Denise N Griff said...

Hysterical! How I remember those days...but add being pelted in the head by grapes!

Glad you guys are home safely with all your wonderful memories.

BTW, Linds, when are you going to help me with my blog???? Hmmm, I seem to remember a promise to help me with my layout, etc...

Ann Hermanson said...

Please write a book, Lyndsey, so we can all have a nonstop laughing experience! Oh, how the generations have changed! My dad would pull off the road, get out of the car and show all four of us his belt - nobody would say a word for the next hour! I think your memories are definitely better than mine were as a much traveled military dependent! Ciao!